Fallout
by High Horse
Summary: Chapter 2 is up.  Kate found her voice and asked one simple question, "do you feel any sparks between us?"  Post Countdown.
1. Chapter 1

**Fallout**

**Summary: Post Countdown. **Kate found her voice and asked one simple question, "do you feel any sparks between us?"

**Rating: **T= PG 13

**Spoilers: **Anything aired through Season 3 (USA) is fair game.

**A/N: **Everyone has to have a take on "Countdown" and what will happen as we head towards "Knockout". My spin in three chapters. Special shout out to my beta, Tanya Reed, you rock!

**Disclaimer: **ABC holds the power and the rights to Castle. No harm is intended.

Agent Fallon left and Castle faced Detective Beckett. He was almost giddy from diffusing the bomb and saving the city. He was about to ask Beckett to join him at a debriefing over dinner, when he caught sight of Josh approaching. Castle quickly shifted gears and excused himself, saying he was tired and needed to go home. He headed for the elevator without looking back at Beckett.

The elevator doors closed and Richard Castle let out the breath he had been holding. To say he had been on a roller coaster of events during the past week was an understatement. He had never felt closer to Beckett than in the past week. It was a blow to share any of that time with Josh. He hailed a cab and headed home.

Castle phoned his mother as soon as he arrived home. She told him that she and Alexis would not be driving back until the morning. Instead of opening up the summer house, they had dropped in at a local bed and breakfast and had a room for the night. Alexis was studying, but she jumped at the chance to talk to her dad.

"I'm still mad that I couldn't tell Ashley."

"I know Sweetie," he said quietly.

"What's wrong, Dad?"

"I'm just tired and I miss you," he replied.

"I want the real story when Grams and I get home tomorrow. Promise?"

"Have I told you how much I love you?" he said.

"I know, Dad, now go and get some rest. See you tomorrow."

Castle ended the call, dumped his jacket on the couch, and headed for the kitchen. There wasn't much to eat, so he poured a glass of scotch and dialed the local Chinese restaurant down the street. After placing his usual order, he turned up the heat and then turned on the stereo, flooding the loft with some light jazz. He wandered to his office to check his messages. No messages, no exciting mail, just the storyline of his latest Nikki Heat novel staring at him on the big outline screen. He couldn't escape from his thoughts of her.

His order arrived, he tipped the man and set out his dinner. Castle had ordered a lot of food and decided to be civilized and eat on a plate. He set down his drink and attacked his dinner. Castle didn't realize how hungry he had been until he finished. Once he was done, he put everything away and headed to the bar to pour another scotch. He checked to make sure the doors were locked, turned the stereo off and headed to his room.

Castle rarely used the large whirlpool tub in his master bath, but he was still having trouble staying warm. He filled the tub and turned on the waterproof flat screen tv, flipping the channels until he found an old western. He stretched his body slowly as he pulled off each piece of clothing. Finally, he submerged his body into the tub and turned on the whirlpool jets. For a while, he just sipped his drink and watched the movie unfold.

The movie hero was in the process of saving the town. The odds were against him, but he battled on, gunning down five desperados and catching the runaway stagecoach. As the hero returned to town, Castle turned off the jets, soaped himself up, shampooed his hair, and then dunked himself until he was clean. He came up sputtering just in time to catch the hero give the lady a kiss before mounting his horse and riding out of town. He always did like to picture himself as a hero cowboy. Castle downed the last of his drink and hauled himself out of the tub and into a large heated towel. He turned off the movie and blow-dried his hair. As he stared at his naked image in the mirror, he thought it was time he got back to the gym. His hero image faded a bit. Castle pulled on a pair of boxers and some sleep pants and headed off to bed.

His phone rang just as he buried himself in the sheets. It was Esposito.

"Castle."

"Hey bro, is everything alright with Alexis?" asked Esposito. "You left the precinct without saying goodnight."

"Mom and Alexis are fine, but they won't be home until tomorrow. I was just wiped out and figured the best thing to do was get some rest. If I haven't made it clear, I owe everything to you and Ryan for finding us. I know that got you both into some trouble with the Captain. Tell Lanie thanks too."

"Okay, Castle, rest up," replied Esposito.

Castle hit the end button, rolled over, and tried not to think of Detective Kate Beckett.

* * *

At the precinct, Kate was pulled into Josh's grasp. Her mind was reeling, and her gaze drifted towards the elevator. She knew Castle had more to say, more cards to show, and yet he walked away. He never looked back. And Kate took notice.

"Are you ready to get out of here?" asked Josh.

"In a minute. Let me just get my coat and say goodnight to the guys."

Josh leaned against the desk. Kate said her goodbyes and gathered up her bag. She was stalling a bit to ensure that Castle was out of the building. Josh helped her into the coat and wrapped his arm around her waist as they headed out of the precinct.

They drove to a small quiet restaurant near his apartment and ate. Despite everything that had happened, her appetite was larger than normal. When they had finished eating, Josh took her to his apartment. He knew that she needed time and quiet, but he also wanted to give her a change of scenery from her own apartment. Kate took a shower and crawled into bed and curled up next to Josh. He drifted off to sleep. She lay awake listening to the beating of his heart and thinking about Castle.

Castle had been there with her all the way and yet he seemed very lost as he left the station. Kate wondered what she was missing. She had tried to keep her distance for so long, that it seemed like just a game. Now, she was beginning to see another side to her favorite writer. He was there for her, mentally and even physically. He had kept her warm. He had challenged her to think outside the box as they solved the case. He tried to protect her and keep her safe. Why did she feel more comfortable and safe with Castle than she did with Josh? Three hours later, her body finally overruled her mind and she fell into a deep slumber.

In the morning, Josh was up making breakfast and generally making life special for his girlfriend. Kate woke to coffee in bed followed by breakfast. She and Josh fell back into bed for a couple of hours before he had to get ready for his shift at the hospital. They both showered and got dressed and Josh dropped Kate off at her car on his way to work. He kissed her and told her that he would call during his shift.

Kate was halfway home when she thought about getting Alexis something special. After all, Alexis was the one who really saved them from the freezer. She made a quick detour before heading home. Kate spent the afternoon catching up on her chores and her mail. Around five, she walked to the diner down the street and had a quick bite to eat. When she got back, she called Castle.

"Hi, Detective, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Hey Castle, I wanted to bring something by for Alexis," replied Kate. "Is there a good time for me to come by your loft?"

"We aren't home right now, but we should be back around seven. Why don't you come by later and have some cheesecake with us?"

"I really don't want to intrude; I just wanted to stop by for a minute."

"Nonsense," he replied. "Have dessert with us and visit a while."

"Okay, then. Thanks." Kate closed her phone and turned on the news. There were no mentions of terrorist plots or bomb scares. Just a story about the crowds in Times Square and another about the cold weather.

Kate changed her clothes for the third time that day, trying to pick an outfit that was more casual than work and yet stylish. She opted for jeans and a long sweater. She pulled on a short pair of boots and a wool jacket and headed out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

A knock announced Kate's arrival. Alexis met her at the door and took her coat. She invited Kate to join them at the table for some dessert and coffee.

Alexis doled out slices of cheesecake and Castle brought over several cups of coffee.

"I wanted to stop by and thank you, Alexis. If you hadn't called Ryan, we may have been frozen solid by now. I know your dad has been riding you about your phone bill, so I brought you a $100 phone card to cover some of it. It was the least I could do to thank you for saving our life."

"That was very thoughtful," replied Castle.

Alexis thanked her and ran over to hug her.

Kate told Martha and Alexis the short version of how Castle defused the dirty bomb and then asked if she could talk to Castle alone. He refilled their coffee cups and led her to the couch in his office. He closed the door and turned on the light on his desk to throw a soft glow across the room.

"Thanks for letting me drop by and, before you ask, Josh is working tonight," she stated.

"You are always welcome in my home, Kate. You know that," he replied.

"I needed to see you. To talk to you." She hesitated.

Castle took a seat on the couch and turned to look at her. She looked as if she had gotten some sleep, and the color had returned to her features, but her gaze was conflicted. He wanted to gather her up in his arms and show her how much he cared for her, but he couldn't move.

Kate found her voice and asked one simple question."Do you feel any sparks between us?"

Castle tried to speak, but anything he said would not come out right.

"It's a simple yes or no, Rick."

"It's not that simple, Kate."

"Is that a no?" she prodded.

He fell silent. The pain he had felt walking out of the precinct the other night came flooding back. He wanted to tell her with all his heart that he was in love with her, but this was not the time. Castle remembered the pain that he felt when he found out that Meredith had cheated on their marriage. He had been devastated and he withdrew into his writing. Castle would not be the "other guy". He held his ground, and she got up to leave.

"I realize that you are trying to be a gentleman about this. I get it. You acted exactly the same way when I was seeing Tom, although I think that you were jealous too. The happiness of more than one person rides on this, and I think we should be honest about our fears and our feelings," said Kate. "Goodnight."

Castle collapsed against the couch. A few minutes later, he felt Alexis's presence in the doorway.

"Dad, I thought you said that Kate was seeing a guy named Josh."

"She is," he replied as Alexis slid next to him on the couch.

"Then why did she look so sad when she left?"

"I couldn't find the words to say to her to make her feel any better," he said.

"Dad, you're a writer. If you can't say what you are thinking, maybe you should just pass her a note at lunch."

Richard Castle pulled his daughter close. "It's not that simple, but I appreciate the thought."

"It's Sunday, and I need to study a little more before I go to bed. I am sure you will figure something out. Goodnight, Dad." With that, Alexis stood up and pulled her dad to his feet. She gave him a big hug before heading to her room.

Castle walked over to his desk and pulled out a large manila envelope. He pulled out some heavy watermarked writing paper. Alexis was right. He just needed to put his thoughts into words.

An hour later, he handed two pages of handwritten sentiments tucked neatly into a big envelope to his regular bike courier. He tipped him generously to cover both ends of the transaction. Castle returned to his couch with a glass of cognac and tried to think of all the possible reactions that Kate might have to his gesture. He wondered if he was too late.


End file.
